true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Pooping to opera.
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