My pussy is not your playground.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
