I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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