By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
