is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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