I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
