So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
