I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
