I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
