So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
