literally had 100 drinks last night.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
