5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
