Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
