Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
