I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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