Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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