I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
