Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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