Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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