I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
