a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
