i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize