I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
