Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
