Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
