hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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