Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
