we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
