You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
