yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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