I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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