Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
