im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Someone shattered a urinal.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
