whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
