yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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