listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
This is the high leading the old right now
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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