White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
