she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
