You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
