it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize