why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
