how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You may now shotgun with the bride
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
