did you get engaged???
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
