Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
