ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
