how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize