At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
