Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
