; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
