Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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