So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
