you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize