just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
