I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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