She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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