Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
