I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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